now currently at my darling unmbrella's house posting.
yea, today was messed up big time. maybe it's jus my feelings.
guessed that i still need some time..

let me begin this new page written in another dae of my life.
maybe i should start writing a book of all the things that happened in my life and how it was changed. completely.
looking at the past, looking at the present.
many happened, sad? happy? it's jus obfuscating.
maybe i was stupid. maybe i used to b dumb,
but now, im looking at a whole new me.
my experiences changed me comparing past and present.
future? it never came across my mind.
for all i shall worry is todae, for tomolo can worry about itself.

should i give up on council?
maybe i should, i cant take too much loads.
other's can manage, but sadly i cant.
all my focus now is firstly and most importantly, God.
following with both my studies and my family.
maybe i'm not that mature yet.
slowly, unless my faith strengthens, im unable to hold anymore jobs.
i am jus willing to give upeverything for Him,
i jus wan to lean more and seek more and even hear more.
maybe till now, im jus not trying hard enough.
but as time goes by, i know im able to change, for Him.

school was pretty boring. wad can i sae?
it's about the same every single dae isnt i?
nope, sometimes it get interesting, but again, things may jus turn out otherwise.
maybe i did something wrong, maybe it was something for me to learn.
guess..maybe i still need to fully wake up.
talking to my dear umbrella, (she's jessica, a human alright)
i tried to find out some answers, maybe i was trying too hard,
cus i got nothing in the end.

i hope i can see my answers.
i know i'll see my answers, sigh, i guess i have to wait patiently.
for now, all i can do is to cont to do my QT faithfully and to stay faithful to Him.
(and of course, not to sin)
some how know me better, may know im being too hard on myself,
and truly enough, i was hard, but maybe a little over hard on myself.
tonight gotta do homework and study. and well, nothing much.
gotta believe to see. yea, i rmb wad ziyi always sae to me.

ciaos~