life has been as per usual, maybe not exactly ususal.
days has been hard, hours are suffering and minutes of sadness.
how much worst can things be?

changed my skin and song.
i don't feel right, just not right.
i can never lay like this forever, it's a killer.
i've been studying and doing work these few days.
ddnt spend much time in Npcc or council anymore.
yea, it has been quite some time of work.
no more relaxing, but more working.
i realised i just cant manage my time properly for my school commitments.
packing and reading, working and studying.
music and listening, i'm getting used to this life.
but it isn't so enjoyable.
i'm going to throw all my stress and emotions on a new blog.
hush~ i'm telling no one baby.

started back on art as well, haven drawn with freedom for so long.
and if anyone realises and losing the fire for nearly everything,
please don't ask me why. cos' i'm not too sure myself.
boyfriend; what am i to do now?

i hope there's light tonight in the night sky.
my mind is wondering, my heart is on a roller coaster ride.
skies aint bright and stars aint shining tonight.
still, how much longer can i hold on?
somehow, i felt i have given up, but on the outside,
i havent.

insanityisntso.
confusions, it's obfuscating.
still, i know He doesnt wish to see me this way.
O boy, can't you just walk this through with me without all these nonesense.
help me. i cant sense my faith anymore..

my heart starts to shiver;
another life, another happy ending cuts like a knife.

okie, i somehow broke my promise about blogging,
but i think i should jus start moving on yea.
shant dwell in sorrowness so long.

let me see,
i'm suppose to be in school,
but i'm ill, seriously ill.
missed GOH training.
sobs. nevermind. i'm on i got MC for 1 week for outdoor activties. =DD
*cough!*
ahh.. pain..

later I'm gonna renovate my room also.
hehe. i'm getting a new desk and a new shelf.
yawns~ and i have a hobby of writing love-letters too.
because that is how my boyfriend speak to me.
hahas! let you all keep guessing.

duno wad to blog! dont even wanna blog.
i think i shall go n study or read bahhs.

can i believe that your heart beats for me?
let me recieve; as i let go my destiny.
i know there's a reason why i'm not leaving, why i'm not alone.

ciaos~

time check: 8.48PM
appointments i have tomorrow.
1)dental - (i maybe BRACE-FREE!)
2)church - (meeting God)
3)books - (STUDY!)

AH yes, cross country today.
lesson went per normal except for the last.
so i ended school at 10.40AM(:
and somehow,
spiritual attacks.
they jus come charging at me whenever they want
yea, see my willingness and God's power combined
and i will overcome it in no time. God is Great(:

i cried, so in some sense, i was unable to take the pain.
sad :/
i just broke down, i couldnt hold back my tears any longer.
friends asked if i was alright, i told them, yea.
i ddnt know why, i prayed everyday against it,
and i think, it's time for me to focus more on God.
too much work, too stressed out behind the scene.
it was unbearable.

but after awhile, God helped me overcome the pain.

had duty for cross country, so i didnt run.
in fact, no one ran. because it rained.
HA. yea, so today was seriously slack, restless.

after that around 4.
went over to meet jaclyn.
keith, nina and jiajun came along soon.
BUT.
they were super noisy.
crapps. ah well =/
ate tons at pizza hut, bakerice, soup and drink.
jaclyn treated me 2 bucks, well,
i was short of money =X
i ddnt have a proper meal during lunch.
hehe(:

reached home, SUPER tired.
not much time to rest though.
yeap. i'm going to fast on the com from next term onwards.
unless i need it seriously.


shocked in darkness. see me?


illusions fill my world without you.

wad am i to say?
i found love in you.
&iloveu(:

ciaos~