todae was jus another pretty normal dae of sec3 life.
well, come to think of it, it feels sort of boring.
hmm, compare to sec1 and 2. sec3 life is like a slacking period.
slacking only when it comes to lessons and class.

but after school work is totally the opposite,
after school is fun, busy, stressful and simply hyperactive.
strange? yea, in some way.

there's something that keep running through my mind,
that one thing i cant understand and figure out why.
wad's so special about celebrating another year of life?
it comes to sae, my birthdae, which is tomolo.
this only refers to my case,
jus wondered and questioned myself, " why? "

for years, times, the only special moment,
the only dae which i was always excited about in the past,
was me and my birthdae.
it's jus simply wonderful when you see people celebrating one's birthdae.
knowing that we have grown and persevered another year of life.
everything changed for me, 6 to 7 years back.
when sometimes, the most special moment and dae of my life,
jus seem to have turned dull and it doesnt have the same excitement,
i cant sensed that " feeling " of a birthdae anymore.

as every year past, slowly there werent anymore celebrations,
work here and there, parents being busy,
friends, some may have jus forgotten.
for 6 to 7 years, all i always wish for,
all i always wanted as my birthdae present... ... ...
...was jus to have a proper birthdae celebration.

wad is it that draws me away from that colourful picture?
was it because of my surrounding? or is it jus me?
werid.
i've lost contact with all my grandparents,
my cousins and relatives.
i know they are still alive,
but it's jus that, im unable to see them..
not knowing wad they look like anymore.
not knowing who they are...
the people who shared my joys and sorrows in the past,
my love ones, were all jus written in words, without pictures.

it was a while before i could get over that situation.
but there were worst that came in,
my parents, how i wish they could do more that jus sae to me " happy brithdae my girl.."
all that happened was cutting the cake and that's all.
there werent any laughter,
werent any feeling of love..
it simply felt jus like any other daes in life,
nothing special, nothing new, i felt i was jus 2 years old yesterdae..

how many of you remembered wad happened to you when you were 2 years old?
and how many of you remembered the first dae you realised things around you?
when you werent a baby and woke up of bed and actually feel and realise things,
for the very first time in your life?
when you actually see yourself walking for the first time,
when you hear yourself call, "mama? papa?"
how many of you actually do?
...for me, i actually remembered it...

the feeling of love when you called and someone actually answers you.
and even help you, comfort you, and even guide you.
for the first time you called.
the first time you see the world, the first time.
even though i remembered it wasnt my birthdae,
the first dae i realised and actually see things,
felt as though it was the best dae ever in my life..

birthdae? well, it's jus another year past in life.
why do we have birthdaes?
is remembering the dae God created us.
and how i wish it was a dae where bonding can be made as well,
esp in my family.

i dont want another normal dae, i dont want jus to get presents,
i dont want to jus cut the cake!
but i want everyone to be happy,
i want to see my family smile, i want to hear their laughter on my birthdae..
i want everyone jus to be alright...
that's all i ask for.. nothing else..
it's only den i called it a proper birthdae celebration.

not another dull dae, not another please....
i jus ask for a celebration that where everyone is happy,
where everyone is alright and not ill.
where everyone... ... ... ... ...

but this time, i hope.. things would change..
i dont ask for presents, i jus wan to see the smiles on pple's faces.
to hear the joy and laughter..

i wan that feeling to come back, i jus wan the sense of love back once again,
on my birthdae..

sadly, im goin to be busy tomolo, ending school around 6.30pm.
and i think, my QT tonight, will be really long.
hahas, guessed so.. i duno wad else to sae... maybe there's nothing to sae anymore.

ciaos~